what is the most appropriate course of action for a trainee who has a problem with a mentor?
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– Dont ask somebody to be your mentor. Dont do it. If you type the words, “Hal, can you be my mentor?” youve already messed up. (upbeat music) Five questions you should never ever, ever, ever ask your mentor, thats what I wanna share in this video because having a mentor could be one of the most incredible opportunities for you to really grow your business as fast as possible. Being able to have somebody in your life show you the future, and not only walk you through what they did, but what they wouldve done if they were doing it over that has achieved your success that youre after is probably the most powerful thing. Most people have a challenge reaching out to mentors because they dont know what to ask, they dont know what to say, they dont wanna waste their time. Thats probably the biggest fear, is whats in it for the mentor? Why would they have this conversation? Those are all legitimate fears, but I learned this lesson when I first reached out to my three mentors. I was scared. One of my mentors looked like a grumpy old man. Turns out, hes one of the sweetest people in the world. I still tell that story cause it makes me giggle. The other ones were just ridiculously accomplished, had built multi, 10, 100 million dollar companies, and I had that imposter syndrome. Why would they take this meeting? But you know what, turned out all three of them responded right away to cold emails, they all took the meetings, I
honored their time. Not only did I listen attentively, I took notes, I followed up after two weeks, and those people literally shaped my life. I believe that success has 100 fathers, and in my world, those three plus the mentors that have come since then are people that have definitely guided my career and my life. Heres the thing, there are certain things you should never ask a mentor, and I wanna walk you through these five because you might be doing them today, and you might have the opportunity to backtrack and not do it again in the future. Number one is never ask the question. You can ask, “Hey, how did you get started in your business?” Totally legit origin story, its fun, the mentor would love to share that story. You wanna be careful, though, if youre trying to get advice, you never say, “How did you do that?” because theres a difference between “Hey, how did you do that?” versus, “How would you do it today?” and its a subtlety, but its a game changer. I was at a dinner yesterday and one of the entrepreneurs asked the other season entrepreneur, “Hey, how did you get started?” cause I knew he was looking for advice on how to get started, and the person was gonna start answering that question. I stopped him, I said, “Just one sec. “Are you looking for advice on how to get started?” Yes. Alright. Reframe the question to, “How would you get started today?” He did, and you could just see the whole energy
change. Instead of this struggle of all the mistakes they made and how they overcame it, it was a very clear, strategic, tactical plan. Number one, never ask, if youre looking for advice, how they did it. Ask, instead, how would you do it today? Number two is never ask for a step-by-step road map. These mentors are very accomplished, theyre focused on big thinking. They dont wanna sit there and try to give you A, B, and C. Its not paint-by-number. Business is an art, it is creative. What worked for them may not work for you, and its dangerous for you to ask for that, and its frustrating as a mentor to try to provide that because thats too much pressure. Every person is different. They have different skills, different resources in their business, different visions for their companies. What you wanna ask, instead, is when you have those big challenges. I always say mentors are the people you turn to instead of your parents. When you have those big things going on in your life, those are the questions you wanna ask your mentor, not for a step-by-step road map. Number three is you never wanna ask your mentors for money. Heres why. It changes the relationship. The way I look at it is you can ask for money. If youre raising money from investors, and Ive done that lots, you can get investors that provide mentorship. Totally cool because the initial conversation was around investment. Investment to mentorship is cool. Mentorship to investment, not cool. Theyve already invested their time,
their energy, their strategies with you. Dont push the limit unless, again, this is the caveat, unless they offer and they want to, but even then, if you have other options, I would not do that because you dont want to complicate the relationship. Number four is for a handout. That could be for asking for referrals, or a resource, or an introduction, or whatever it is. Again, the mentors already put their time, their energy in meeting with you and giving you strategies. Again, unless they offer, dont ask for a handout. Thats such a critical component. Number five is to become a customer, no different than the financial side. You want that relationship to be without bias. What I love about mentors is theyre not investors, theyre not your partner in life, theyre not part of the team, so their advice comes unbiased and theyre really saying, “If it was me, this is the way I would look at it.” That is different than a co-founder, your wife, or your husband, or your partner, or a team member, or an advisor, or the bank, or anybody else, your lawyer even. They all have an interest in some kind of financial economical success in your business, so its gonna be biased, whereas the mentor, its pretty much like, heres the information, do what you want. Those are the five key areas. Number one, you wanna make sure that you never ask them what they did if youre looking for tactical advice. You wanna ask them what would they do today. Number two, you
wanna never ask them for money because money changes the conversation. You never wanna ask for a step-by-step road map. You never wanna ask them to become a customer, and you never wanna ask them for a handout. Now, heres what I want to do. I wanna ask you to leave a comment and honor your mentor. One of my rules when you have a mentor is any chance you get that somebody says, “Hey, how did you get here?” and you have the opportunity to tell that story, to honor them, I think its your responsibility. So I want you to leave me a comment and let me know the story of the person that mentored you, that connected with you, that believed in you when you didnt believe in yourself. For me, it was Ken, Jerry, and Tom. I want you guys to make sure that you honor those people. Ive shared my story many times with those mentors, but I wanna hear from you below in the comments. As per usual, I wanna challenge you to live a bigger life and a bigger business, and Ill see you next Monday. If you like this video, be sure to subscribe to my channel to receive other tips on how to start and grow your business. Id also suggest you join my newsletter where I will send you personalized invites to events, free training videos, and other community contests. As well, if youre ready to get going, check out these other videos I got queued up for you. Ill see you next week.
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